So I wrote a whole blog which i had titled the sociological thoughts and upon some more day occurring decided not to post it. It was full of some fun theological thoughts mixed with some sociological perspective. Instead I'm going to return to my sappy self and write about God's love.
"I don't have time to maintain these regrets when i think about the way, you love us."
How true a statement. At those moments that we are so wrapped up in God's love and a revelation of who He is and what He's done for us, I can't think about my regrets, I just think about Him.
Psalms 27:4 you see that same picture of David saying One thing I desire, to dwell in the courts of the Lord forever more and behold the beauty of the Lord.
To just lavish in His presence.
I remember a word from the Lord I got a few years ago. I was struggling with processing through a past that had plagued me. One of living for myself. I punished myself and struggled with seeing myself as forgiven. Beyond that those around me struggled to see me as the person I had become rather than who I was. The Lord spoke so clearly to me one morning "Daughter, it is you and those around you that don't see you as redeemed, in My eyes you have been made new"
Redemption. The greek word for redemption means to be released or liberated because of an effective payment.
Because of Christ's effective payment.
There's just this quality of God. This unconditional love and everlasting grace. The blog on sociological thought was a lot about sin, about our need to turn from sin, about what leads us to sin etc. It was a true message that is still much needed in our society, but on the same token this world needs to hear about love and about grace, about true redemption. Christ was 100% truth and 100% grace, never compromising truth for grace, but also never compromising grace for truth. The truth is that Christ died for our sins because of the Father's great love for us, the truth is we have to make a decision to commit our lives to Christ and that's not just a prayer, it is a complete lifestyle change, the truth is sanctification will occur in the life of a Christian, but the truth is also you will mess up and as my pastor always says when you mess up confess up that's when people will know there's something different about you.
In the presence of my God who I truly am is revealed. The good, the bad, the lovely, and the ugly. There with Him peace overwhelms me and the love of the Father gives me a desire to live for Him. The pieces of the puzzle fit together when I'm with Him. See here is the thing about God, we are redeemed and we are new, we are clean when washed in the blood of Christ, but His love for us causes the Holy Spirit to push us towards sanctification. Because at the end of the day the best thing for us is to not sin. It's not because He is a God of restriction, it's because He's a God of love.
I know i just jumped around a lot. But tonight for some reason I just feel loved. I don't have a desire to discuss some new theological revelation, not normal for me, I don't really want to bring out the Word and discuss how we should be living our lives, I don't want to try and encourage you to be passionate, or write something that will build you up and encourage you or challenge you, rather, tonight, i'm somber. I'm more silent. If anything I want to say, My God, My Daddy God, the One I run to, the One I have a secret place with, when my world is falling apart I can fall on my knees and cry out to the God of the universe, because as the Word says cast your cares on Him because He cares for you, this God, this Huge Big Miraculous Sovereign Creator God He loves me, He knows me, He cares about me, He forgives me, He's faithful even when I'm faithless, He walks with me, He talks with me, He challenges me, He tests me, He lives in me, He works through me, gosh the One True God, I have a personal relationship with Him. He meets with me. He delights in me. He died for me. There is nothing more humbling than a revelation of this concept.
I am my Beloved's and He is mine.
J. Tate
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
A Revelation
This morning we had our first Encountering God "staff" meeting. We met at sugar brown's (local coffee shop) to run through ideas for our church plant and the future of EG ministries. Kyle asked his wife, Keri, to share something the Lord had shown her in the word recently. I found it very interesting:
The passage she used was in Mark 4, I'm sure most of you know it, when Jesus calms the storm. It says that Jesus said let's go to the other side, then obviously went to go sleep. Then the winds began to push the boat, even getting water into the boat, and the disciples freaked. Obviously this is my paraphrase :0 The idea she presented was this: what if the wind was brought to push the boat to the other side? Jesus went to sleep knowing the purpose of the storm was to accomplish what He had sat out for them to do. i.e. get to the other side and minister. The next thought was, their fear caused them to awaken Jesus from His rest to calm the storm... So, how did they get to the other side? They most likely had to row.
Her thoughts: Sometimes there is a storm in our lives and we're not seeing resolve because God knows where He's trying to take us. Second many times we cop out of battle and short cut the storm and then we have to row.
I liked this analogy. I liked this revelation. It spoke to me.
Next was sociology class. I'm taking sociology of addiction for alcohol, drugs, and society. My professor today was throwing out some ideas on reference networks. He was saying our reference networks determine what expectations we'll live up to and whatever reference network is most important to us is what we'll follow. He said that he thinks we give too much credit to things like media for impacting the lives of adolescents. He discussed Columbine and some other things, but it was here that i kind of toned out and began thinking about what he'd been saying. This is what i thought of, I so many times tell the youth I teach whether in LBK or in Liberty live above reproach, don't watch the stupid immoral crud on tv you shouldn't be watching, don't listen to the crud you shouldn't be listening to etc. Which is obviously something our generation needs to hear, to be above reproach and not settle. But how i've had it in my head is this: if they won't watch that they won't want that, if they won't listen to that they won't feel that, and as i thought on his lesson today i considered a new aspect. I think it is often times true that we listen to things that support how we already feel, we watch the things we already want. For instance, if i'm in a fight w/ my boyfriend, on a break, or upset w/ some guy I often get in the mood for some Miranda Lambert, Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, their mad chick songs. You know like gun powder and lead, picture to burn, before he cheats, music that is talking trash about men and i can at that moment identify with. If they're watching MTV real world chances are something inside of them wants that life.. what seems to be no restrictions and consequences.
I think we need to continue to teach our youth what is ok and what is not. Challenge them not to listen or watch the trash, but also be praying that the Holy Spirit would cause them to hate their sin, but that is going to be what keeps them from turning on MTV or the newest rap video. Second, is us living what we preach. Us setting the example of not living worldly, watching worldly things, listening to worldly things... how about raising our standards and encouraging them to raise theirs?
These were just some thoughts from the day from two things that had me thinking. With the new church plant coming soon I'm praying through and studying the first 4 chapters of Acts to really get down what the early church was about and i'm excited about where the Lord takes that. I'm preparing for schools start aug. 24th because that week will be the first meeting back to EG in the new building. Great things are here and right around the corner. I'm so excited.
J. Tate
The passage she used was in Mark 4, I'm sure most of you know it, when Jesus calms the storm. It says that Jesus said let's go to the other side, then obviously went to go sleep. Then the winds began to push the boat, even getting water into the boat, and the disciples freaked. Obviously this is my paraphrase :0 The idea she presented was this: what if the wind was brought to push the boat to the other side? Jesus went to sleep knowing the purpose of the storm was to accomplish what He had sat out for them to do. i.e. get to the other side and minister. The next thought was, their fear caused them to awaken Jesus from His rest to calm the storm... So, how did they get to the other side? They most likely had to row.
Her thoughts: Sometimes there is a storm in our lives and we're not seeing resolve because God knows where He's trying to take us. Second many times we cop out of battle and short cut the storm and then we have to row.
I liked this analogy. I liked this revelation. It spoke to me.
Next was sociology class. I'm taking sociology of addiction for alcohol, drugs, and society. My professor today was throwing out some ideas on reference networks. He was saying our reference networks determine what expectations we'll live up to and whatever reference network is most important to us is what we'll follow. He said that he thinks we give too much credit to things like media for impacting the lives of adolescents. He discussed Columbine and some other things, but it was here that i kind of toned out and began thinking about what he'd been saying. This is what i thought of, I so many times tell the youth I teach whether in LBK or in Liberty live above reproach, don't watch the stupid immoral crud on tv you shouldn't be watching, don't listen to the crud you shouldn't be listening to etc. Which is obviously something our generation needs to hear, to be above reproach and not settle. But how i've had it in my head is this: if they won't watch that they won't want that, if they won't listen to that they won't feel that, and as i thought on his lesson today i considered a new aspect. I think it is often times true that we listen to things that support how we already feel, we watch the things we already want. For instance, if i'm in a fight w/ my boyfriend, on a break, or upset w/ some guy I often get in the mood for some Miranda Lambert, Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, their mad chick songs. You know like gun powder and lead, picture to burn, before he cheats, music that is talking trash about men and i can at that moment identify with. If they're watching MTV real world chances are something inside of them wants that life.. what seems to be no restrictions and consequences.
I think we need to continue to teach our youth what is ok and what is not. Challenge them not to listen or watch the trash, but also be praying that the Holy Spirit would cause them to hate their sin, but that is going to be what keeps them from turning on MTV or the newest rap video. Second, is us living what we preach. Us setting the example of not living worldly, watching worldly things, listening to worldly things... how about raising our standards and encouraging them to raise theirs?
These were just some thoughts from the day from two things that had me thinking. With the new church plant coming soon I'm praying through and studying the first 4 chapters of Acts to really get down what the early church was about and i'm excited about where the Lord takes that. I'm preparing for schools start aug. 24th because that week will be the first meeting back to EG in the new building. Great things are here and right around the corner. I'm so excited.
J. Tate
Sunday, July 12, 2009
worlds apart
"Worlds Apart"
I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die
To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache
Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees
All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me
Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart
[Additional lyrics:]
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart
I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die
To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache
Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees
All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me
Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart
[Additional lyrics:]
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart
Back in the LBK
I am here. Lubbock, Texas. My home for the past 3 years and place of tremendous spiritual growth and trials. Place of heart ache, happiness, frustration, triumph. This is my last six months in this town. I am relieved. I have loved Texas Tech and I have loved this place, but at the same time I have hated it. The most frustrating point of all of this is, the things I have prayed for, hoped for, longed for, they're happening now, right before I leave.
Encountering God was just given a miracle where we are now leasing a HUGE amazing building for the same price were paying for the trailer. We will have more utilities and ways to reach out to the people of west Lubbock. Beyond that through prayer there has been a decision made to not only have Encountering God as a youth outreach and ministry, but now as a church!!!
The idea of this church is to take it back old school, i'm not talking traditional robes and such, rather Acts 2! Church will be free of legalism, religiosity, and man's doctrine of how church should be. It is come as you are and let God radically change your life. We will challenge the members to accept Jesus Christ sacrifice, repent, and change. Teach the Word of God. Preaching will probably be done in jeans and a t-shirt. We want God to be the focus, not looking good, being fancy, or prideful. Humbled, loyal, devoted, followers of Christ, joining together to glorify God. The kind of church I have prayed to find since I was a freshman finally is coming into existence... 6 months before I leave. Oh well, praise God for Him bringing it into existence.
Also, I get to lead the middle school and high school ministry or "youth" for EG. I could not be more excited. I have been asking God for new opportunities to teach and to stretch me. Just being a leader at EG has stretched me, leading it, wow I can't even fathom. I am so excited to seek God's face for how He would have me minister to these youth, that well, are way different than the youth I am involved with in Liberty. It will be a stretch to reach out to youth that have lived lives way different than mine. I know that God is faithful and sovereign.
As soon as December comes I will be attending Southwestern Assembly of God University in Waxahachie Texas. I have not decided yet, if I will move there, or do my first year's course work online. Either way I am beyond excitement and sadness. This is new for me. For the past year I could not get out of LBK soon enough. The costs we're overcoming the rewards, the bad things were significantly outnumbering the good, but now as the things I have prayed for come together, it's disappointing to leave them behind. I have loved Texas Tech, but it is the LBK ministry that has my heart. EG and IHOPrayer have been strength and stability when I was weak and confused. The mentors, adults, basically people who know more than me in these ministries have comforted and carried me. IHOP is now open 6 days a week and EG well we've already discussed that. The Lord is moving in them and through them, blessing them, and letting them sore to knew heights. These 2 ministries will never leave my heart. I dare to say 20 years from now no matter where i am; texas, U.S, out of the country, married or not, kids or not, in ministry or not, I will remember the things I have learned from these years with them.
So, here it is back in the LBK. New emotions that come along with being able to see the end. One semester away. Graduation, 22 years old. I pray for this city, I pray for the various ministries and organizations I've been apart of, for my university from which my degree will always be from and my football loyalty will always lie. I'm excited that God is moving here and I can't wait to see what all He has planned for this city.
Encountering God was just given a miracle where we are now leasing a HUGE amazing building for the same price were paying for the trailer. We will have more utilities and ways to reach out to the people of west Lubbock. Beyond that through prayer there has been a decision made to not only have Encountering God as a youth outreach and ministry, but now as a church!!!
The idea of this church is to take it back old school, i'm not talking traditional robes and such, rather Acts 2! Church will be free of legalism, religiosity, and man's doctrine of how church should be. It is come as you are and let God radically change your life. We will challenge the members to accept Jesus Christ sacrifice, repent, and change. Teach the Word of God. Preaching will probably be done in jeans and a t-shirt. We want God to be the focus, not looking good, being fancy, or prideful. Humbled, loyal, devoted, followers of Christ, joining together to glorify God. The kind of church I have prayed to find since I was a freshman finally is coming into existence... 6 months before I leave. Oh well, praise God for Him bringing it into existence.
Also, I get to lead the middle school and high school ministry or "youth" for EG. I could not be more excited. I have been asking God for new opportunities to teach and to stretch me. Just being a leader at EG has stretched me, leading it, wow I can't even fathom. I am so excited to seek God's face for how He would have me minister to these youth, that well, are way different than the youth I am involved with in Liberty. It will be a stretch to reach out to youth that have lived lives way different than mine. I know that God is faithful and sovereign.
As soon as December comes I will be attending Southwestern Assembly of God University in Waxahachie Texas. I have not decided yet, if I will move there, or do my first year's course work online. Either way I am beyond excitement and sadness. This is new for me. For the past year I could not get out of LBK soon enough. The costs we're overcoming the rewards, the bad things were significantly outnumbering the good, but now as the things I have prayed for come together, it's disappointing to leave them behind. I have loved Texas Tech, but it is the LBK ministry that has my heart. EG and IHOPrayer have been strength and stability when I was weak and confused. The mentors, adults, basically people who know more than me in these ministries have comforted and carried me. IHOP is now open 6 days a week and EG well we've already discussed that. The Lord is moving in them and through them, blessing them, and letting them sore to knew heights. These 2 ministries will never leave my heart. I dare to say 20 years from now no matter where i am; texas, U.S, out of the country, married or not, kids or not, in ministry or not, I will remember the things I have learned from these years with them.
So, here it is back in the LBK. New emotions that come along with being able to see the end. One semester away. Graduation, 22 years old. I pray for this city, I pray for the various ministries and organizations I've been apart of, for my university from which my degree will always be from and my football loyalty will always lie. I'm excited that God is moving here and I can't wait to see what all He has planned for this city.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)