The hunting dog

Before I start the blog I'll tell you a story about my dog. My dog is a German Pointer or in layman's terms a "bird" dog. I've been researching her breed a lot lately and learned that she is bred for hunting. If you take her out hunting she spots the "prey" that she's been trained to find she points to it, lifts one front paw, and stares at it so that the hunter can then shoot whatever it is. Well, last night one of my roommates grandparents came over immediately saw missy and said oh goodness do you hunt with her? I said eh no, i haven't ever really been hunting, and i dont know if missy would be into that sort of thing. Oh they were like no no that is her natural instinct you have to take that dog hunting and after 30 min. of discussing how she MUST HUNT. i finally relented and said ok i'll marry a man who hunts and i'll make sure he takes her, we all laughed. This morning missy is sitting right next to me on the couch having a dream. Her little hind feet are kicking away her mouth gets curled up in a snarl and then she starts kicking again. I sat down and thought my goodness she is a natural hunter she even does it in her sleep. This now makes sense why we kept finding dead pigeons all in our back yard last semester, dang dog was killing em'.
So the people i know that are hunters are the rossow's, but all they do is deer hunting, maybe i'll find someone who knows a thing or two about bird hunting and get them to teach her or something... who knows...
I've had some great intimate time w/ the Lord in the last week, going up to LIHOP and just worshiping and praying. I've messed up and had to confess up but have found some great liberation in the forgiveness of those around me as i've had to humble myself and apologize. I've really been thinking about living in the Spirit lately and what that truly means, obviously that means living out the fruits of the spirit, but i heard it put this way the other day.
A man was talking on the radio as i got in the car and he was talking about living in the spirit. He said what the Holy Spirit wants to truly do in you is get to the point where there is none of you and then He can talk through you, walk through you, and live through you, so in reality it's no longer even you. It's simply Jesus in your flesh.
Oh i've heard the scriptures Galations 2:20 it's no longer I who lives but Christ who lives in me, 2 Cor. 5:15 He died for those that lived so that they could no longer live for themselves but for Him, Col. 3:3 for you have died and your life is hidden with Christ.
We all have heard them, but I hadn't really had a revelation of that. Obviously I struggle w/ that because I still see how I sin. I still see that so much of me does live. I relate more w/ the likes of Romans 7 when paul is saying i do the things i dont want to do, and the things i want to do i don't do. He lays out a great picture of our battle with our flesh. I understand that way more than i understand, i no longer live, but Christ in me!
I see the pride in even this thought though. Because if i were to say that it is not true, this Christ in me theory, then i would have to say not only do i do the bad i do, but i do the good. And who am i to take credit for what the Lord has done through my life?
The goal of my life is to see less and less of Jessika every day. Not diminishing the character that God has placed in me, my personality, but less and less of my fleshly person. The less I become the more the Spirit can move and work through me. The more this temple for the Spirit, this body, can be used to be the hands and feet of Jesus Christ.
I see it. I have been crucified with Christ it is no longer I who lives, but He who lives in me. In other words, i laid down me, I willingly gave it all up, all my wants, all my desires, even all my needs, i sat bare and naked before the Lord with nothing and said take this body and use it for Your glory. Speak through me, move through me, walk through me, all for You.
I was told by my youth pastor over and over again in highschool. Jessika the hardest thing you will ever learn is balance. My goodness how those words have proven to be true over and over again in my life. I struggle for balance because when i do something i do it wholeheartedly. If i put my heart into it there is no stopping until it is accomplished. This is many times a GREAT THING, but it i has proven to be difficult because God is not always a God of the immediate, many times He is the God of the process! When i have that vision or desire He gives me, I WANT IT NOW, and i go out looking for it, many times in my own flesh and will rather than His. Then i begin reasoning the things I heard from God because i'm not seeing immediate action from them. I am reading battlefield of the mind by joyce meyer and i just read a couple of days ago where she said "Satan uses reasoning to strip the will of God from us" basically if we begin to reason and try and figure out what God has told us, many times we stop believing it, because we can't figure it out in our own heads.... that hit me....
I digress, back to the point, if my desire is to give glory to God with my life, the only thing I can do is to willingly submit this life to Him. Lay it down, crucify it, and allow the Holy Spirit to take over the reigns, to run the controls...
Now for you other overachievers, go getters, bascially impatient people... it's a process.
This dying to myself is a journey. It's praying the way david prayed, asking God to reveal sin, hearing the Holy Spirit as He reveals it to you, and then rebuking it, repenting from it, and leaving it in the dust. And with each fleshly character, you give the Holy Spirit more and more room to work through you. . .
This life is fun. Let it be.
Be blessed,
J. Tate

Where will I be?

As you know my room has been painted! It's definitely a transition but i now have an amazing new addition to my house, my roommate, katy. She even brought guitar hero world tour, so i have had fun trying to learn to play the drums and act like i have a beat haha.
I began trying to run again and that has been interesting, there was a good amount of pain the first day, but today there wasn't much pain. Now i'm back to working up the endurance i lost, we'll see how that goes. T- 4 months until the half marathon, plenty of time for training.
The Lord really did work on my heart this weekend. I felt freedom and release, peace and devotion, love. I also began to get a vision for where my passions lie for the long term. Women's ministry.
I've always been confused as to what direction the Lord is leading me. The mentors i have that pour into my life have encouraged my gifts of teaching and working with youth. Two things I obviously love. I found in Rwanda even deeper how much I loved these two things, but it's never where I've felt led to be 10 years from now. Today I pondered where do i see myself in the years to come.
Obviously for the next 4 months I see myself here in lubbock texas. Working to complete my degree in human development and family studies. Working as the Youth Director for encounter God ministries. Building the youth program for the Encounter God Church plant and looking to find a permanent youth minister for those youth that I have grown so fond of. I'll make the most of my time left here in Lubbock. The place that I have found friends for a life time. The place I've grown up and been faced with real world challenges. Learned to grow with God hours away from the people who had been my rock. 9 hours away from my family I learned how much I love and appreciated them. Then in December I'll graduate.
I'll move to Euless, Tx to live with my grandmother for one semester as I start my masters degree in counseling psychology and study to become a licensed professional counselor. I'll be attending Southwestern Assembly of God University. After one semester i'll move to waxahachie and who knows how long i'll be there.
I hope somewhere in the next five years I'll meet a husband who will be equally passionate about ministry and desire to be in full time ministry together. No matter what he chooses to do i hope i'll be able to support him, encourage him. respect him, and love him. I hope that together we will glorify God in all that we do. Of course i'd love for him to be traveling evangelist or a pastor so that i could be that pastor's wife and do women's ministry in his church or ministry, but that is a desire of my heart that is up to the Lord :)
The years after graduating SAGU will hopefully be spent with a husband, kids, ministry, laughter and love but as James so eloquently put it in james 4... all of this I will do if the Lord wills.
I'm excited for the next week, month, year, and years of my life. I know that God has a plan and I know He's making me passionate about specific things!

This week i'm finishing up preparation for the FIRST CHURCH SERVICE FOR ENCOUNTER GOD CHURCH! August 9th here we go. The vision of this church is to reach out to a poverty stricken and rejected area in West Lubbock. It is focused on modeling the very first church in Acts. I'm so excited, God is already moving big!

Next week I get to go home for a few days. I'm flying home on Tuesday the 11th staying until Saturday and riding back to Lubbock with Ben! It's going to be a blast.
Good things. I'm so blessed.
J. Tate